Please pray for the people of Ukraine, under continual attack by the Orthodox Russian aggressors. May God have mercy on us all.
Today, December 6, is the feast of :
Saint Nicholas of Myra, the Wonderworker
Did you know that after Saint Nicholas Day, we slowly begin to gain light in the evening. After about Theophany, the sun begins to rise earlier. This is because the shape of the earth is not quite round.
Now, class, moving on from geology to theology…
I’ve just got to write again about our parish’s patron saint. As with My Adventures with Saint Nektarios three weeks ago, I know some of you know this story, but many new readers do not.
Let me make something clear: When I write about my experiences with these saints I’m not bragging. I’m confessing – confessing that I am spiritually shallow and unresponsive. That explains why, whenever God has wanted something of me, He either had to shock me into it, or send a saint to push me into it.
Long but necessary Introduction
Looking back, I am convinced that in the year 1985 (earth time), Our Lord Jesus Christ said to His servant Saint Nicholas (mind you, I’m not quoting!): “Nicholas, we need an Orthodox church on the north side of Milwaukee. Go after this Olnhausen fellow – he’s a good target right now, but he’s not bright enough to figure out what to do. See if you can get him moving.”
I was indeed a good target. I was a Traditional Anglo-Catholic (like Orthodoxy in many ways), feeling lost in the Episcopal Church * which was fast becoming what Anglicanism is now.
- the American version of Anglicanism
However, it wasn’t entirely the fault of Anglicanism. Ever since seminary, nearly twenty five years before, I had felt the “Orthodox Church has it right” – but it seemed so “ethnic”, so inaccessible. I had hoped Anglicanism would become a kind of Western Orthodoxy. Clearly that was not going to happen. I was reading and studying, and I knew I believed like an Orthodox Christian. However, I assumed Orthodoxy was still only for people from the old country. I felt like a Ford salesman who now believed in Hondas, and didn’t know what to do about it. I was becoming demoralized, negative, and I knew my congregation saw it.
In 1985, our Vestry (parish council), thinking maybe I just needed a break after nearly twenty years in the saddle, generously gave me the summer off and a considerable sum of money. So with my wife Dianna and our two teenagers, Jennifer and David, we did Western Europe for a month. Then, alone, I went on to Greece. I had no intention of becoming Orthodox, at least not then – maybe after I retired. But I had always wanted to see Greece.
So I went to The Orthodox Academy on Crete, to a conference designed for Americans of all sorts who wanted to learn about Greece – which included, of course, Orthodoxy.
I won’t describe the conference, except to say that every time we talked about theology, without even having to think about it I gave the Orthodox answers, not the Anglican ones.
And there, at last:
My Adventure with Saint Nicholas began…
… though I didn’t realize it at the beginning.
One beautiful summer evening, we visited the local heirarch, Bishop Ireneaus of Kastelli. We had supper with him and some of his people on a patio outside his chapel. I had no idea what they were talking about, but I could see the kindness and love in his face, the warm personal relationship between him and his people. I thought he was just what a bishop should be. That night I wrote in my trip diary: “Remember that face.”
The next week I spent on the island of Paros in the Aegean. I had always wanted to bum around in Greece, and my wife generously said: Go ahead. I won’t describe my time there – I’ve written about that elsewhere – except to say that I saw Orthodoxy as lived by ordinary people. It was alive, like nothing I had ever experienced before, and by the time the week was over (even though I still hadn’t understood a word) I had fallen in love with Orthodoxy.
Now, enter Saint Nicholas:
A few days later, in a Church supply store near the Cathedral in Athens, I saw “that face” again – in an icon of Saint Nicholas. I had to have that face, so I spent more than I intended and brought the icon home.
When I arrived my wife Dianna saw I was changed. I had a whole new countenance. She asked “Do you want to become Orthodox?” I said “No.” I was lying.
I hung this icon of Saint Nicholas on a wall in church with a candle lighted beside it.
I now began to read every book about Orthodoxy I could find.
Please note: There is more to Orthodoxy than doctrine, more than feelings. There’s the Orthodox approach to theology. There’s the Orthodox “phronema”, our “mentality”… it’s very hard to define. It’s something we have to discover after we’ve been Orthodox for a while.
In the middle of a book by Father Alexander Schmemann, my theological “paradigm” shifted. I began to understand how Orthodox think: We begin not with doctrine or the Scriptures or the Pope. We begin with experience, just as Christianity began with the experience of Jesus Christ. Doctrine follows out of that. Immediately I recognized that was how my spiritual life had always functioned. I had always been Orthodox without being Orthodox.
But how to become Orthodox? For one thing, my wife had not shared my Greek experience. She was glad I felt better but, after our experience with the Episcopal Church, she was burnt out on religion. She’d go to Sunday Mass, but that was it. Also, we had one child in college, and another approaching. How could we afford to bail out? And again, my congregation were devout, good, loving people. How could I abandon them to what I knew was coming. So I taught patristic Orthodox doctrine without calling it Orthodox, and hoped it would stick.
- What happened? After a few years, they had no issue with modernist Anglicanism. They just went with the flow. As a result they (like the rest of the Episcopal Church) have lost well over half their members, and the church may well not survive. When I remember the going, growing parish we once had… oh, let’s not talk about it.
Saint Nicholas gets moving.
Now, let’s go back a few months. After Evening Prayer * one night, a woman said to me, “Have you noticed how Saint Nicholas’ expression changes?” I said, “No……” But I began to look, and sure enough. It was not that the paint moved. I don’t know what was happening. But sometimes he looked pleased, sometimes displeased, sometimes serene, sometimes almost distressed with me. I did not tell this around the parish! I was afraid people would think I had gone over the edge.
- the Anglican version of daily Vespers
Another woman who came to the service (and who I trusted to keep her mouth shut!) suggested perhaps the issue was only reflecting my feelings at the moment. So I checked that out. Sometimes yes. Sometimes definitely no. I could be happy, and he would look at me sternly. I could be gloomy, and he would be about to laugh. What in the world was going on?
Looking back, I now realize that Nicholas was calling me into relationship with himself. I did not yet understand how icons function. People get to know the Lord Jesus and His saints through their icons. Rarely in as dramatic a way as with me but, remember, I was a tough case, hard to get through to.
I like to title this episode:
Saint Nicholas does something completely “off the wall”.
I don’t know how to describe this, except to tell you it happened.
One day I had been at a local Episcopalian clergy meeting. Our clergy who once had been united in the Faith were now all over the place. I once had felt so at home in our Diocese. Now I just didn’t belong. I wanted to be out of there. I wanted, needed to be Orthodox. And I couldn’t see any way to do it.
I walked up to the icon feeling utterly discouraged. I looked up. Saint Nicholas looked smug, so disgustingly pleased with himself. And I said to him… For the first time I said to him “How you hang there looking like the cat who swallowed the canary, while I’m so miserable?” And then… I can’t describe this. It wasn’t that I heard words. It wasn’t like that at all… And then he told me that Saint Nicholas Orthodox Church was coming. It was as clear as if I had heard the words. I am sure I stood there dumbstruck.
I told no one about this for a long time. I was afraid they’d take me to a psychiatrist. I even wondered about it myself.
Now, let me put a warning here. If you have “experiences” of any sort giving you messages – whether in dreams or when awake, like mine – please be very suspicious, no matter how convincing they seem. These can also be delusions from Satan. Do not act upon them. Wait… wait and test them to see what happens.
However, let me say that Saint Nicholas’ message to me felt absolutely convincing. After this, I had no doubt that Saint Nicholas Orthodox Church was coming.
Was this good news? Yes. It would be the solution to all my problems, the solution I couldn’t find for myself.
Except that it also left me very uncomfortable, fearful. The Saint had given no details. When 
would Saint Nicholas Church come to be? Soon? twenty years in the future? Would my Episcopal parish somehow become Orthodox? or would it be a new congregation? Was there something I should be doing or not doing to hasten the process along, lest somehow I I get in his way? What would this mean for me personally? for my family? How could I convince my wife about Orthodoxy? or shouldn’t I even try? After the financial security we had in the Episcopal Church, might we wind up living in poverty? Might I have to work in a grocery store for the rest of my life? Saint Nicholas’ promise was completely open-ended, and I was afraid.
I now began talking openly about the Orthodox Faith and the Orthodox Church, hoping it was the right thing to do. The new Episcopalian Book of Common Prayer offered many options, including a few of Orthodox origin, and a few completely open-ended, so while some others were introducing God-knows-what into the Holy Eucharist service, we sang “In peace, let us pray to the Lord”, and a Hymn to the Theotokos before Communions. Saint Nicholas had spoken, and I was going to take this as far as it could go.
I think people saw a new spring in my step, but very few seemed to grasp what I was up to. A few did and approved: they also were looking for something beyond Anglicanism. A few others understood and were either very disconcerted or, in some cases, angry. I remember a clergy friend asking me, “Why are you tearing up one of the best churches in the Diocese?” I couldn’t explain it exactly, could I?
Finally the Bishop came for his visitation. I left the service as it was; I wasn’t going to hide anything. Next morning, Bang! our new liturgical style was officially suppressed.
Meanwhile, I made contact with local Orthodox clergy, wondering what these men, hiding behind icon screens in their elaborate vestments, were like. I found them all friendly, down to earth and welcoming. I felt at home immediately.
I can’t begin to tell you everything about these next few years, except that the wait felt like forever. I must mention Father Thomas Hopko (+), from Saint Vladimir’s Seminary who was so much help to me in so many ways. As was Father Peter Gillquist (+), who gave more direct assistance and to me and our new mission than can be told. A good friend. These two men are on my private list of saints.
During the next few years a number of quite amazing things happened. One was the “conversion” of my wife. Of course, she knew I wanted so badly to be Orthodox. But I decided within myself that it was not going to happen till she wanted it also. And I was afraid go ask. What if she said “No”? Would there be a Saint Nicholas Church without me? One Sunday we were having lunch with Episcopalian friends who said they would stay Anglican “till the last dog died”. * With that Dianna laid Orthodoxy all over them! I was so happy I could scarcely talk.
- They didn’t.
A couple of the events seemed borderline miraculous. Were they the work of our blessed saint? He didn’t deign to tell me at the time. But looking back…
Late on the Sunday evening after Easter, 1989, my Episcopalian bishop called me and said, very calmly, “You have a choice of resignation or ecclesiastical trial on the grounds of apostasy.” I did not say what I was thinking: “Me guilty of apostasy (denying the Faith) when you have bishops running around publicly denying the Virgin Birth and the Resurrection?” I resigned from my parish and renounced Anglican orders.
That had to have been the direct work of the Lord. I needed a shock. Would I have had the guts to quit? Probably not.
Now Saint Nicholas appeared again.
In September, 1989, with the blessing of His Eminence Metropolitan Philip of the Antiochian Archdiocese, our new Orthodox Mission was founded and soon he titled it Saint Nicholas Church. Father Tom Hopko (who did not know of my experiences with Saint Nicholas) sent us an icon of Saint Nicholas, with a relic of our blessed saint attached within it. When, a few years later, we purchased a beautiful old Lutheran church building, we needed time to make it fit for Orthodox worship, and we decided to begin services on the first major saint’s day thereafter, which turned out to be Saint Nicholas Day, 36 years ago today.
Saint Nicholas has been an integral part of our parish life. When the money we need at the end of the year invariably shows up in the most mysterious ways, one of our treasurers termed it (and we still call it) the Saint Nicholas factor. One day something happened that could possibly have destroyed the parish. I went to the candle stand and lit a candle to Saint Nicholas, and bribed him with $100. Within three hours the whole matter cleared up, as if by miracle. “As if, ha!” And more.
We’ve had our ups and downs – mostly ups. Today, like most Orthodox churches, we’re having a flood of people – especially young people – visiting, inquiring and often staying to take instructions and become members of the Holy Orthodox Church.
I’ve run on more than enough.
The icon of “that face”, our patron Saint Nicholas, is on a stand by the entrance to our church, so much kissed that we’ve had to encase him, lest he fade away.
Praise God our Lord Jesus Christ, and His servant Nicholas the Wonderworker. Wonderworker indeed!
Here is our parish website: https://www.stnicholascedarburg.org The priest is the open video is not me but rather our pastor, Father Ignatius Valentine. (I’m much older than that.)
Next Week: Many things which I’ve been saving up.
Week after Next: I haven’t had time to think about it yet.